idontknowwhodecideswhodeservestogobad.therewasnoevilinherbirth.nowickedcurse.onedayibelieveshewasswimming,andthenextdayshewassick.itmighthavebeenthedaythatgrayphotographwastaken.itmighthavebeenthedayshewasholdingcousintotchyandbabyfrank.itmighthavebeenthemomentshepointedtothecameraforthekidstolookandtheywouldnt.

    maybetheskydidntlookthedayshefelldown.maybegodwasbusy.itcouldbetrueshedidntdiverightonedayandhurtherspine.ormaybethestorythatshefellveryhardfromahighstepstool,liketotchysaid,istrue.

    butithinkdiseaseshavenoeyes.theypickwithadizzyfingeranyone,justanyone.likemyauntwhohappenedtobewalkingdownthestreetonedayinherjoancrawforddress,inherfunnyfelthatwiththeblackfeather,cousintotchyinonehand,babyfrankintheother.

    sometimesyougetusedtothesickandsometimesthesickness,ifitistheretoolong,getstoseemnormal.thisishowitwaswithher,andmaybethisiswhywechoseher.

    itwasagame,thatsall.itwasthegameweplayedeveryafternooneversincethatdayoneofusinventedit.icantrememberwho.ithinkitwasme.youhadtopicksomebody.youhadtothinkofsomeoneeverybodyknew.someoneyoucouldimitateandeveryoneelsewouldhavetoguesswhoitwas.itstartedoutwithfamouspeople:wonderwoman,thebeatles,marilynmonroebutthensomebodythoughtitdbebetterifwechangedthegamealittle,ifwepretendedweweremr.benny,orhiswifeblanca,orruthie,oranybodyweknew.

    idontknowwhywepickedher.maybewewereboredthatday.maybewegottired.welikedmyaunt.shelistenedtoourstories.shealwaysaskedustocomeback.lucy,me,rachel.ihatedtogotherealone.thesixblockstothedarkapartment,second-floorrearbuildingwheresunlightnevercame,andwhatdiditmatter?myauntwasblindbythen.sheneversawthedirtydishesinthesink.shecouldntseetheceilingsdustywithflies,theuglymaroonwalls,thebottlesandstickyspoons.icantforgetthesmell.likestickycapsulesfilledwithjelly.myaunt,alittleoyster,alittlepieceofmeatonanopenshellforustolookat.hello,hello.asifshehadfallenintoawell.

    itookmylibrarybookstoherhouse.ireadherstories.ilikedthebookthewaterbabies.shelikedittoo.ineverknewhowsickshewasuntilthatdayitriedtoshowheroneofthepicturesinthebook,abeautifulcolorpictureofthewaterbabiesswimminginthesea.iheldthebookuptoherface.icantseeit,shesaid,imblind.andtheniwasashamed.